So I have an EPIC collection of ridiculous hats in my closet that I’ve accumulated over the years. And sadly, most of then never get worn (although to be honest, some should never see the light of day again). So this year I decided to bust out the best of them and wear a different hat every month – and of course take a terribly shameless selfie for each!
January hat of the month: my Doctor Who TARDIS toque, complete with 4th Doctor scarf
To be honest, I’m not even sure if this even IS a hat. It has a weird hole in the top that I feel could be be used for a number of things (like pretending to be a ninja or an old Russian lady). I just use it to allow my awesome hair to flow unrestricted. This is probably the least ridiculous of my hats, but it’s functional and surprisingly warm so it made the most sense for Feb.
March. (Get it? March… Marching… Yeah you get it).
This actually might be the oldest of all the ridiculous hats in my collection. If memory serves, I got it at an army surplus store in a small down back in the summer of 2006 (or was it 2005?). I distinctly remember going to Wild Wings afterwards and getting strange looks from everyone in the restaurant. Good times.
Also notice the Chaos Compass on the front instead of Russian military insignia. That was my own little addition.
I bought this hat and these shamrock glasses years ago – before I even moved to Toronto – and they are still my St Patrick’s Day tradition.
Easter-themed April Hat of the Month! I decided to channel VH1s the Pick-up Artist a little for this months hat. I’ve had this one for close to 7 years too. I used to have a matching purple one, but that seems to have vanished within the last few years – likely due to being fed up with getting dragged out of my closet for drunken 2am Silly Hat Parties.
I decided to tone it down a bit this month with something that I could wear outside of a nightclub without looking completely ridiculous. Plus, you’re apparently only allowed to wear a felt cowboy hat until the end of May (you’re supposed to switch to straw until Labour Day) so I figured this would be the perfect month for this. I really don’t even know where this hat came from. I know I definitely didn’t buy it. It’s just been in my closet for a number of years. I think the last time I wore it was as part of my costume when I was the “entertainment” for a certain bachelorette party.
May the Fourth be with you!
Originally bought back when fedoras weren’t exclusively worn by neckbearded internet trolls, this hat served a very specific purpose back in the day. There was a time, years and years ago, when I used to style my hair into giant red devil horns. I think I got them to about 8 inches tall by the end. But the hour-long process of styling them with hair glue and a blow dryer meant that I had to keep them up for a few days at a time. This was a problem, however, since I was working at IBM at the time and I already looked weird enough with my nails painted black and a coffee mug that was adorned with skulls. So the only logical solution was to buy a hat that I could hide my horns under on the off days that I needed to keep my horns up but had to go into the office.
Talk about First World problems, right?
So after an exhaustive search for a hat that would fit my strangely gigantic head, we found this fantastically terrible fashion choice at a flea market.
Special location bonus: my freshly cleaned ball pit!
Because this country rocks!
There was a lot of deliberation on which hat was going to be the hat for this month. But this one has proven itself time and time again to be the perfect thing to keep you cool and not sunburned on a hot sunny day while still looking kind of silly. I think I swiped this hat off of my dad back in the day, who got it at some Ford-sponsored golf tournament back in the 90’s (hence the color). I was going on one of my first vacations and realized I didn’t have a hat, so I swiped this one and never really gave it back. Apparently he has been looking for it for years.
I was on a boat and wearing a pirate hat on a large sail boat just made sense. Also, I exchanged contact info with a mermaid who I assume thought I worked for the boat and was trying to get her name out there for her mermaid services. Apparently there isn’t much demand for professional mermaids these days.
I have nothing special to say about this hat. It’s a white fedora that I was given on the street a couple of years ago. It’s a surprisingly functional – although not fashionable – hat that has been to Mexico and the Dominican with me.
September was the only month that I didn’t have a hat that was obvious to be worn for that month when I first started planning this out in January. So since I couldn’t find a hat that was ridiculous enough for this month, I bought this hat at FanExpo at the beginning of the month. I had figured that since we were into the fall the temperatures would be low enough to justify wearing a hat like this. Sadly (or luckily?) it’s been fairly warm so I didn’t get to wear this as much as I would have liked this month.
Regardless, it’s still a pretty god damn awesome hat so it got as much play for the rest of Sept as I could manage.
This is by far my favorite hat from my collection. I’ve always missed the days when I had my hair spiked into giant 8″ red horns, so when Halloween came around last year, I managed to find some costume horns and a cheap Walter White hat to create a fantastic tribute to my old hairstyle.
People really loved them at Nuit Blanche this year too. So many people stopped me for photos that I was starting to feel like a walking art installation.
This has been my traditional birthday hat for more years than I can remember. It usually has more of a top hat appearance, but it’s after 3 in the morning and it has seen some adventure tonight so we cannot really fault it for not being in tip top shape, right?
So yeah, props to this hat that I bought at the Dollar Store years ago for still looking fab!
This is my second last hat posting and we’re almost at my favorite festive hat. I wanted to post this one much earlier, given Remembrance Day and the Canadian-ness of this tuque, but it’s been mercifully warm again this month. Not-so-thankfully, it was pretty chilly this morning so I was able to rock it to the office.
I got this hat a few years ago right before a wedding in the Dominican. I wanted to check “Wear a Canadian tuque on a tropical beach” off my Bucket List. The resulting photo was hilarious
My very last hat of the month! If you’ve scrolled this far then I have insane respect for you because I don’t think I would have the patience to get through this many selfies.
I’ve had this black and white Santa hat for years and it’s one of my favorite hats of all time. I sewed it myself, but was in a rush because I had to get to a Christmas party, so it’s not the most well-assembled garment in the world, but it’s lasted a long time. Also, I’m showing off our Doctor Suess-themed Christmas tree which my roommates and I assembled while watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Definitely in the holiday spirit!